Confessions of a "Fresa" Mexican American Cisgender gay male.


I'm done trying, done searching for something that I don't have.
Living life on someone else's terms. 
Minding my every step, feeling their every breath.
Looking into the mirror and not seeing myself. 

My love is irreplaceable and my love is unforgettable. 
I want to be with myself.
Live the way I was meant to be. 
Running not from my fears but towards my goals.
My ambition will drive me straight to my destiny.
I live the way I want and want to share that with someone.
Yet those I want, never desire me.
Walking alone on a rocky path can be exhausting but walking with someone else can be draining. 

I want to believe that you are the best for me. 
Want to feel the way I felt before, but I don't. 
I feel estranged from you but mostly from myself.
I'm not happy.

My motivation acts like the waves of the ocean.
From cold to hot like the morning in the desert.
I only create when I'm feeling down. 
I feel blocked by my own expected limitations. 

But the person in the mirror is always there.
Accept it and be grateful.
You can do it. 
You will do it.

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